"Would rioter number 562 please go to the checkout...".
If Greenwich is looted expect Black Market to be flooded with ships-in-bottles, lighthouse lamps and rope-framed clocks.
WARNING: Some items looted at weekend will release dyes that stain skin permanently. Tattoo needles mainly.
Only business untouched in Enfield is the Barbeque Supplies Shop. Despite the efforts of twenty men they just couldn't get it to light.
Charity stores looted. Police looking for man who owns VHS, likes puzzles, wearing wedding dress & cardigan, listening to Leo Sayer LP.