Without exams to circumscribe,
I’m free to write a diatribe!
Hello, hello, hello dear readers! The
joyous days of my repeated attempts to entertain, confuse and, if the past
posts are anything to go by, fail miserably to write in an effective, coherent manner,
can once again commence. Had you bothered to read to any semblance of depth, you’d
have noticed the previous post was concluded with a godawful joke. Now, before
you think my flawless joke record besmirched by that abomination, it was, in
fact written as the conclusion of the first post by my brand spanking new
co-author, Brodie.C *insert appropriate level of fanfare here*. Hopefully his peculiar
mind will birth posts as stillborn as my own, can’t have him outshining me now,
can I?
Exams. The bane of my existence till
not so long ago, yet with the great beast slain and my time finally wrenched
from its all encompassing tyranny, I am left without my greatest motivator for
updating this infernal time wasting dohicky; procrastination. My time is my own
and now that I fill it with whatever and whichever pointless banality that my
feckless mind deems fit, I have no reason to return to this platform in refuge
under the crushing weight of responsibility. Meh, I guess I’ll just have to
write spurious nonsense out of a misbegotten sense of purpose rather than whatever
stupidity I previously thought constituted a tenable reason instead.
It is precisely here that I have run
out of interesting things to tell you all, “You never let that stop you in the
past!” I hear you cry, to you I say, “Fuck off, you try better”. However, I
have decided a decent use for you, my bumbling collective; a tool of shame!
That’s right; I shall divulge my goals to you in an attempt to shame myself
through the laziness barrier, over the time wasting straits of procrastination
right into the sweet bosom of self fulfilment. First and foremost, exercise; my rolls could
stock a large bakery. Secondly, learn maths; my skills with said matter are so
bad, were I to die, humanity’s collective mathematical ability will actually increase by
a sizable degree. Thirdly, write more of this bollocks. During the course of
the summer period, I plan to get a fair few posts written of a quality unrivalled
by anyone bar the mentally challenged and the illiterate.
There you have it; your summer of fun
has just begun. Yay...
A joke twice as bad to make up for
the previous post, hint hint, my humour impaired compatriot:
Q. What sort of tiles cannot be stuck
on walls?
A. Reptiles!
